What's today, Thursday...?

[juliebata]

Ok, so, the other night, I was sitting on the couch wide awake at 3am, with a shooting pain in my stomach. My LJ friends are telling me, "hey, get that looked into." Usually, the heartburn goes away during daylight hours, but on Wednesday, it didn't. It suddenly occurred to me, "oh yeah, I've got insurance now." I call and describe my symptoms. I'm told, "why don't you come in this afternoon?"
A few months ago, people at work were complaining because the insurance co-pay went up to $10. I don't know what it was before, but their whining pissed me off. I spent the last two years uninsured and denying myself medical care because I just couldn't afford it. $10 is nothing compared to the $5000 emergency hospital bill I'm still paying off. I'm trying to get used to the fact that I can just go see a doctor if I have a problem.
So anyway, I go in and tell them what's going on. They take some blood to see if there's some sort of infection in my stomach lining. I'm given two nuclear powered acid-blocking medications. I like them very much. If it turns out I have an infection, I'll get antibiotics, too. Won't know for a couple of days. I slept much better Wednesday night...

I did manage to kill the spider. There is something hard-wired into me that hates spiders. It cannot be changed. I will always fear them, I don't WANT to like them, I don't care what beneficial things they might do. Any spider that gets into my home will die. I love snakes, though. Snakes are cool. Go figure...
I think that if I suddenly liked spiders, it would fundamentally change who I am. The world will have to accept me with my arachniphobia.
Medical breakthroughs are starting to happen that could someday allow me to eat peanuts without dying. It could be useful for when they've been eaten accidentally, but I can't imagine ever wanting to eat them, or enjoying their flavor. Being allergic is part of my everyday life. The smell of peanuts strikes fear in my heart, a deep down, life-threatening sense of danger. It's hard to picture that being different.
I cannot imagine believing in god.
I cannot imagine wanting a child.
I cannot imagine liking country music.
I cannot believe I've been rambling on like this for so long without a point. Oh yeah, um, I hate spiders, and I'm going to kill them. Some people can't change certain things, and we have to try to love them anyway.
This is one of those posts I'm going to be embarrassed about later.... Hey- There's my navel, I'm going to go contemplate it...
-Juliebata

Comments

[whumpdotcom.livejournal.com]

Thank provenance for modern medicine. I'm glad your feeling better.

cannibal and rennikins send their love.