Brief Update...

I am at my parent's house in Madison, WI. The news about my older brother Steve is not good. He has a tumor the size of a small baseball on his pancreas, and surgeons were not able to remove it. It was too wrapped up around various blood vessels and such. The cancer had not spread anywhere else, at least. Getting the news was a surreal and horrifying experience. I'm glad we were all there together. We were huddled together in the waiting room, listening, crying, asking questions. The surgeon was kind and sympathetic, yet very straightforward and matter-of-fact. I have no doubt that his team tried very hard. He didn't sugar-coat anything, we didn't want him to, but when he said the words "palliative care" it was as if someone took a pin and let the air out of all of us. That's it.
Steve is recovering really well at this point, and is in better spirits than any of us. He will fight as hard and as long as he can. Next step is chemo and radiation, which will start in a couple weeks. If they can shrink the tumor, he may have several years, if not, maybe several months. Steve may go home as soon as Sunday. I leave Monday morning. Despite a steady stream of visitors, I was able to spend some time alone with him this afternoon and talk. Time has a whole new meaning and value now. Life is just too damn short.



This computer my folks have, an old iMac, is very hard to work with, and it uses dial-up. LiveJournal is a garbled mess, I can't get to my filters or anything. I'm just checking e-mail and holyoutlaw's LJ when I get the chance. I'll try to catch up when I get back to Seattle, and back to my heavenly haven of broadband...