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juliebataIn the late summer of the year 2000, I was getting ready to fly alone to the Chicago worldcon. I wanted to splurge on something beautifying for myself, as this was to be a big vacation for me.
I was still married at the time, I wasn't out to attract someone new, but I wanted to try to do something fun that made me feel good about myself. I have always thought of myself as unattractive. I have often been treated by the world at large as though I was unattractive. But the thing I hated most about myself has always been my hands. I always wanted to have pretty hands and be a hand model, but my nails are the grossest in the land. Short, stumpy, easy to break, never could I get them to be the same length at one time. So one day, I went into a salon in Los Altos, showed them my stumps and said "can you do anything with these? Can you make these hands pretty?" "Of course we can," said the nice lady, and an hour later I walked out with the most beautiful nails the world had ever seen. I was stunned, I had no idea that 10 carefully placed plastic tips, some acrylic resin, and a topcoat of pale pink could change my whole worldview! I felt 500 times better about myself, and vowed to get my nails done from then on, for as long as I could afford it. Today, I am decidedly poorer, but I still get them done, I found an inexpensive salon here in Madison. There are other things I should spend my money on, I suppose, but I consider this one indulgence to be very important to my sense of well-being. Not everyone notices a gals nails, but I feel so much prettier when I have them, and I don't want to have to give that feeling up.
The only disadvantage to having nice nails, is that they make it much harder for me to type! After about two weeks or so, the real nails grow out and the fake part starts to detatch, so you go and get them re-done. I'm about a week overdue for this, so all my fakies have broken off, I'm left with my original, natural, ugly stumps. I feel ugly, but man- I can type so much faster! Tomorrow, I will go and have them done, and tomorrow night I will type slowly again, but that's OK with me.
Am I vain? Am I superficial? Does my need for one tiny aspect of my life to feel good seem silly?
-Juliebata
I was still married at the time, I wasn't out to attract someone new, but I wanted to try to do something fun that made me feel good about myself. I have always thought of myself as unattractive. I have often been treated by the world at large as though I was unattractive. But the thing I hated most about myself has always been my hands. I always wanted to have pretty hands and be a hand model, but my nails are the grossest in the land. Short, stumpy, easy to break, never could I get them to be the same length at one time. So one day, I went into a salon in Los Altos, showed them my stumps and said "can you do anything with these? Can you make these hands pretty?" "Of course we can," said the nice lady, and an hour later I walked out with the most beautiful nails the world had ever seen. I was stunned, I had no idea that 10 carefully placed plastic tips, some acrylic resin, and a topcoat of pale pink could change my whole worldview! I felt 500 times better about myself, and vowed to get my nails done from then on, for as long as I could afford it. Today, I am decidedly poorer, but I still get them done, I found an inexpensive salon here in Madison. There are other things I should spend my money on, I suppose, but I consider this one indulgence to be very important to my sense of well-being. Not everyone notices a gals nails, but I feel so much prettier when I have them, and I don't want to have to give that feeling up.
The only disadvantage to having nice nails, is that they make it much harder for me to type! After about two weeks or so, the real nails grow out and the fake part starts to detatch, so you go and get them re-done. I'm about a week overdue for this, so all my fakies have broken off, I'm left with my original, natural, ugly stumps. I feel ugly, but man- I can type so much faster! Tomorrow, I will go and have them done, and tomorrow night I will type slowly again, but that's OK with me.
Am I vain? Am I superficial? Does my need for one tiny aspect of my life to feel good seem silly?
-Juliebata
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Focusing on one body part...
Anyway, I've had my manicure, and I feel fine!
-Juliebata
Re: Focusing on one body part...
Date: 2003-01-18 03:28 am (UTC)I must also remain mindful of this distinction: focussing hate on one body part is not the same as feeling pretty when you've treated one part with special attention. She can hate her feet, but was there anything she did to them to make her feel pretty, by compensation? I think you're ahead of the game, when you can attend to the part, like your hands, because that acknowledges how important it is to you.
Crazy(must look you up in the ol' hometown for those pampering facials, manicures, et al...)Soph