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Life has me split into two extremes of emotion: the joy of making wedding plans, and the esteem crushing hell that is a job search.
Sometimes I feel guilty for having found someone so right for me. I was a regular, average, lonely person who was jealous of other people's happiness, then suddenly I became a happy person myself. Sometimes I think I deserve it, I suffered, I paid my loneliness dues, and I worked hard and sacrificed a lot to get to this happy place. Yet some people work hard, suffer, sacrifice and pay their dues, as it were, and never find someone who makes them happy. Is it just random chance? If it is, I count myself among the luckiest of the lucky saps who ever walked the earth. I don't take a second I have with Luke for granted.
I wish I could transfer some of that luck to the job search. I made an appointment to sign up with another temp service next week, and I plan to call yet another agency today. My resume is all ready to e-mail, I just have to take a deep breath and start doing it. A Craigslist full of potential jobs awaits me. Thinking about all this is depressing, yet I'm reminded that nearly all of the jobs I've had in the last 16 years, were jobs I kept for more than a year. I have experience and staying power. It's the getting out there and getting started that's the hard part.
Sometimes I feel guilty for having found someone so right for me. I was a regular, average, lonely person who was jealous of other people's happiness, then suddenly I became a happy person myself. Sometimes I think I deserve it, I suffered, I paid my loneliness dues, and I worked hard and sacrificed a lot to get to this happy place. Yet some people work hard, suffer, sacrifice and pay their dues, as it were, and never find someone who makes them happy. Is it just random chance? If it is, I count myself among the luckiest of the lucky saps who ever walked the earth. I don't take a second I have with Luke for granted.
I wish I could transfer some of that luck to the job search. I made an appointment to sign up with another temp service next week, and I plan to call yet another agency today. My resume is all ready to e-mail, I just have to take a deep breath and start doing it. A Craigslist full of potential jobs awaits me. Thinking about all this is depressing, yet I'm reminded that nearly all of the jobs I've had in the last 16 years, were jobs I kept for more than a year. I have experience and staying power. It's the getting out there and getting started that's the hard part.
