How my Thursday was...

[juliebata]

Thursday was a difficult day, work sucked, as usual. It was my grandma's 91st birthday. The whole family gathered at the nursing home for cake and ice cream. Grandma doesn't really know me anymore, so it's hard to go there. She's been in the nursing home for seven years. The grandma I knew is long gone. I don't know what to say anymore. Grandma can't really hold a conversation, and she won't remember that I was there. She lives in a twilight that I don't make much of an impact on. Going to see her has just become an obligation to keep the rest of the family happy. The fact that I feel this way about it makes ME feel like crap. Who knows how life will turn out, I may end up being the primary care-giver if my parents eventually end up that way. Maybe then I can make up for what I feel is a major shortcoming in my life at this point in time.
-Juliebata

Comments

[serendipoz.livejournal.com]

Juliebata

You're a fine person in a stressful emotional place.

*hug*

Thanks for the hug...

[juliebata.livejournal.com]

I should be giving YOU the hug! Your stresses can beat up mine any day! My job sucks, and I hate it- but I'm grateful to have it, and I know it'll take me a long time to find a better one!
-Juliebata

Re: Thanks for the hug...

[serendipoz.livejournal.com]

Thank you Juliebata, ... I have bad days when it's difficult to crawl out of bed - especially if it's *cold*. But I'm working towards getting something else.

I can't imagine not working, either, so I'll look to finding (at least) a volunteer job to keep in technical touch.

stay warm!