Gross..

There was a paper bag that we brought some leftovers home in, and it was sitting behind the recycle bin. I picked up the bag and went to put it inside the recycle bin, when something HUGE sprang from the folds of the bag, and dashed under the stove. I only caught a fleeting glimpse, but it was gigantic, black, fast, and had at least six legs. It didn't run like a spider, I think it was a roach. And now it's in my kitchen. I keep a damn clean house, and I've never, ever seen a cockroach in my living space before. And since there was just the one, how much ya wanna bet it was a pregnant female? Because, of course, if one single roach accidentally gets into your house, it's going to be a knocked-up floozy-roach, right?
I never though I would have cause to say this, but I actually HOPE it was ONLY a monumentally huge, black, hairy, poisonous, fast-moving spider. Because those I can handle. (For the most part, though there is usually some screaming involved...)