More On The Usual...

So we have our money and we are done with Jane. Luke wrote about bitterness, and he wrote about it beautifully. Unlike him, I wear my bitterness like a great big flashing badge that I want everyone to see. I don't know how to be any other way.

I've seen others act this way, and I've been repelled by it. I've acted this way myself, and I swore I'd never do it again. Yet here I am once more, feeling hurt and angry and rejected and wondering how anyone who calls themselves my friend can want to associate with that woman. Spend Thanksgiving with her. It feels like a kick in the face.

It can't be both ways right now. Not for me. You don't get to like us both. Not today. Not this week. Right now, I don't want to associate with people who like her. In the months ahead, it will sometimes be difficult for me to be around the people who like her. I know now from experience that those feelings do fade, but it will take time. I don't know how much time. And I don't know if anyone in that group will care enough to wait for me.



Tomorrow, Luke and I will spend Thanksgiving with new friends and some strangers. I'm really looking forward to it.