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I can do this....
Jan. 31st, 2005 07:32 pmThere were only a few minor problems at the new office today, many of them solved by the cake that appeared in the breakroom after lunch. We had a few technical glitches, and our computer guy got to work on them early in the day. My computer talks to the printer, the copier works just fine, and the fax machine plays nice with others. My keyboard, however, had a meltdown just seconds after computer guy left, and I was kinda screwed for the rest of the day. Even with that going on, my new workspace is great, the day flew by, and I don't face tomorrow with a sense of doom and dread. It makes a huge difference in my outlook.
As I said, this past weekend I got a number of major projects done around the apartment. Mainly, financial number crunching, and paper sorting. I began shredding things I no longer felt I needed to keep around. I don't know why I even kept them in the first place. They were sad and hurtful things. I had folders, actual manila folders with papers inside, letters, copies of e-mails, things having to do with Tom, who broke my heart almost three years ago. I didn't think I'd ever recover from that. I will always hate him, yet it felt like I was finally letting go of something big and important by shredding those letters. I felt lighter in every way when it was done. Like I'm ready to give myself fully to the challenge ahead.
After crunching numbers, I could see that I was in pretty good shape, even after buying new tires for the car last week. I have been blessed with a thoroughly decent ex-husband who has been paying alimony since we split four years ago. By California divorce law, I was entitled to alimony for an amount of time equal to that of half the time we were married. That money has been my cushion, my extra padding, my ability to do a few nice things for myself. And I was mentally preparing to be without it, because it would end next June. It would certainly make a difference in my finances, but I didn't think it would kill me. Whump heard of my desire to move to Seattle, and he recently put forth an interesting offer: he could pay out the remaining alimony in one lump sum. A chunk of money I could set aside for a few months, then use to move to Seattle. It would go a long way towards movers, and maybe a couple months rent somewhere till I got a job. I took him up on it.
It's terrifying, but in a good way. There are no guarantees. Once I move there, I could never afford to move back. I would be uninsured for who knows how long.
I still want to do it. More than anything.
As I said, this past weekend I got a number of major projects done around the apartment. Mainly, financial number crunching, and paper sorting. I began shredding things I no longer felt I needed to keep around. I don't know why I even kept them in the first place. They were sad and hurtful things. I had folders, actual manila folders with papers inside, letters, copies of e-mails, things having to do with Tom, who broke my heart almost three years ago. I didn't think I'd ever recover from that. I will always hate him, yet it felt like I was finally letting go of something big and important by shredding those letters. I felt lighter in every way when it was done. Like I'm ready to give myself fully to the challenge ahead.
After crunching numbers, I could see that I was in pretty good shape, even after buying new tires for the car last week. I have been blessed with a thoroughly decent ex-husband who has been paying alimony since we split four years ago. By California divorce law, I was entitled to alimony for an amount of time equal to that of half the time we were married. That money has been my cushion, my extra padding, my ability to do a few nice things for myself. And I was mentally preparing to be without it, because it would end next June. It would certainly make a difference in my finances, but I didn't think it would kill me. Whump heard of my desire to move to Seattle, and he recently put forth an interesting offer: he could pay out the remaining alimony in one lump sum. A chunk of money I could set aside for a few months, then use to move to Seattle. It would go a long way towards movers, and maybe a couple months rent somewhere till I got a job. I took him up on it.
It's terrifying, but in a good way. There are no guarantees. Once I move there, I could never afford to move back. I would be uninsured for who knows how long.
I still want to do it. More than anything.
